| I’m sorry that I wrecked that tour for us. |
[Apr. 20th, 2009|08:43 pm] |
The drugs left me wigging out on the bus.
I've been meaning to post what's been going on since my last blog but... Ehh. I've just been lazy.
Hahaha. :B
So after that last post,
I got my noms and then... I don't know.
We hung out with Stephanie I believe.
On... That night? Or Monday night we went to Dai Bai Dang's with Tyler, Vance, Lopez, Stephanie, and me.
I flirted sooo hardcore with the waiter. Yeah, I still got it. (;
And Lopez... I don't even know... Hahaha.
And then we went to Jeremy's so we could see his face but he didn't come outside. :/
Then I think we went to Tyler's and hung out for awhile.
Stephanie left and we took Lopez home.
On Monday, I believe, we went to Red Lobster for Tyler's grandma's 82nd birthday!
Yummyyyy.
Tuesday we hung out with Stephanie and Zack.
Just... Chilled. Hahah.
On Wednesday we left. I drove the first half to the Jack in the Box and the Vance drove the rest of the way.
We dropped Vance off at his house and I haven't seen him since... Haha, faggot.
The rest of the day and Thursday Tyler and I just chillaxed. And Laurren and Michelle spent the night Thursday night.
On Friday, Camille came over!
Camille was my friend in Girl Scouts but had to move at the end of the 6th grade.
We still keep in touch and her spring break was the same as mine so she decided to commute over to LA. (:
We decided to go to Venice beach since neither of us have been there before.
It was a fun drive catching up and me almost killing us a couple times.
Hahaha.
Camille is a photography major so she had some disposable cameras and she let me use one to take interesting pictures. I can't wait to get those in the mail! :B
When we got there the closest we could park was still faaar from the strip, I guess you would call it?
Haha.
We trudged our way through some sand there and began shopping.
I bought some bracelets and stuff.
And then Camille lost her wallet.
We were like... Shit.
So we retraced our steps and just when Camille has lost all hope I was like, come on, we'll ask one more vendor. And he had it. :3
Tightest moment ever.
And then I bought Tyler this sand sculpture thing that this guy carved and spray painted and it was really cool and Camille got her boyfriend one too.
Then we ate some pizza and finished walking around so we went swimming!
...Good thing it was below 70 degrees.
Hahaha. We frolicked a bit and then decided to leave.
Traffic was terrible but expected.
Too be continued... Seriously this time... |
|
|
| Fresno, U.S.A.~! |
[Apr. 5th, 2009|02:43 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | LOL | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Alton Brown is a faggot | ] |
So yesterday I began my spring break.
Laurren ended up getting the shingles and couldn't go with us.
And Michelle almost went with us but... Nope!
Haha. So then I picked up Vance and we got gas and sunglasses and left!
I drove the first 50 miles.
We saw a vanity plate that said GUITARS
The first person in the world to have that plate.
Hahaha.
And then there was a jackass in a blue PT Cruiser convertible (wow! you're cool!)
and he was obviously texting so I didn't want to get in front of him but I had to.
And then we were minding our own business and we hear a car peel out and the PT douchebag is now driving on the shoulder of the freeway.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Vance almost kicked his ass. Hahaha.
We went past Six Flags and then took a break at a Carl's Jr./Green Burrito.
Om nom nommmmm
Then Vance ended up driving the rest of the way. Hahah.
Even thoouugggh I offered to drive.
We were cruising at 85mph most of the way.
Except for when a terrorist tried to ruin us.
And the Apple Auntie...
And at the very end when we were getting off the freeway we almost had to fight a mexican.
Hahaha.
And after we got off the freeway I got to drive... Finally.
And then we got to Tyler'ssssssssss. :3
And I def hugged him first.
Vance got to meet his family and his puppies and I made Tyler give him the tourrrr.
And then we ate some noms and sat around.
And then Tyler drove us around and we tried to find someone to hang out with but everyone was busy/lame.
So we ended up renting Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist and it was good.
And then Vance played Tony Hawk Underground and I fell asleep around 2am.
I guess Tyler and Vance stayed up until 6am and beat Tony Hawk. Hahaha.
I woke up at noon to Alvin and the Chipmunks. So. Terrible.
I watched all of it because I didn't know where the remote was.
Shrek the 3rd came on so I forced myself to fall asleep.
Hahhaha.
At two the dumb-dumbs woke up and that's where we are now.
OM NOOOOMMMSSS. I WANT OMMM NOOOMMMMMSS |
|
|
| I like American music. |
[Mar. 30th, 2009|10:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  angry | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | meow nyan IV | ] |
Do you like American music?
We like American music, baaaaaabyyyyy.
That was the song of my life a couple of years ago and now I have rediscovered it.
I'm sitting here nomming on Strawberry Cheesecake Ben & Jerry's and reflecting.
I'm not the only crazy one in this relationship.
Everyone hates school.
Everyone needs to calm the fuck down about DTASC.
I have terrible stomach problems and I don't know why.
I am not very motivated right now.
I wish my room as done and I had a sewing workstation. Perhaps then I'd have motivation... Unlikely.
I need some books.
Everything is my fault.
I hope I actually lose weight in 'Fitness April'.
I just want to fucking talk to you. I want to talk to you and you provide conversation and not get mad at me. I want to fucking be in love.
I wish I wasn't so antisocial.
I wish I had a million dollars.
I need new clothes very badly. Nothing fits me. At all.
Fucking prom.
Do you even love me any more? Or have you finally grown tired of the bullshit?
I wish red hair dye lasted.
I need you here you with me. I need you just to see me. I need you here with me. Yeah, it's only a dream to me.
I need something new. Something to change this drab day-to-day bullshit.
Thank god for fucking spring break.
I hate my family so fucking much.
I wish my family actually communicated with each other.
I wish I could just go to sleep and not have to ever wake up.
Fuck you. Fuck me. Fuck my life.
But the tremors in your body make it hard to sleep.
Yeah the termors in my body make it hard to speak these words... |
|
|
| Meeow meow meow |
[Mar. 29th, 2009|10:08 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  bored | ] |
So on Saturday I got convinced to go camping with Meagan and Kristen.
It was pretty uneventful except for the fact that La Chupacabra broke into our tent and almost killed us.
(I have come to the conclusion it was probably raccoons).
And today I've just been lounging around and being dirty.
I did some laundry and set up my serger and just... Been reading web comics.
Hahhaha.
I need to clean my roooom.
And I need my deeeskkkk.
Now I'm hungry.
I know I shouldn't wait up for Tyler but...
It's hard to fall asleep without talking to him. :/
I sound like a loser.
Oh and btw
THINK ABOUT IT |
|
|
| Let the Right One In |
[Mar. 28th, 2009|12:17 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bored | ] |
Today was pretty pooopie. ):
I had to wake up early for the rally, which I didn't want to do anyways.
And then I had to do the rally which was laaame.
But I guess it was fun... I guess.
And school was boring as hell. ):
After school Veronica came over and then her and Jessica went biking while I watched the Twilight Zone.
When they came back I had to drive Veronica home because Deb is crazy.
I came home and watched That 70s Show while reading onesentence.org
And then my sister got "kidnapped" by Emily and Madi J and I got really depressed and almost started crying in front of my parents but I made it to my room.
Where I cried for a little bit and then fell asleep for four hours.
When I woke up Jessica, Emily, and Madi had ice cream for me!
Hahaha. I ate some but realized I need real food so I started boiling water for macaroni.
I was watching TV and Jessica was like, did you forget about that water?
I was like, lol no. Hhahaa. So I made some spiral macaroni and cheese. Hahaha.
Then I decided to watch Let the Right One In.
It's a Swedish film about a vampire and a boy who gets bullied a lot.
It was pretty good. I just thought it would have been scarier.
And I wish it told me what they were saying in morse code.
I had to go on wikipedia to find out the end. Hahha.
But it was still good.
Now I'm laying here in the dark waiting for my boyfriend to call me.
Whatever. Not my fault if I fall asleep.
Kay byyyyyyeeeeeeeeeee |
|
|
| I wanna ride on a white horse. |
[Mar. 25th, 2009|10:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Goldfrapp | ] |
Today was prettty baaadasssss.
I hate lame school but it was bearable... I suppose...
Hahaha.
After school I took Jessica to Michael's and it was soooooooo hotttt.
And when I came home...
I got my Dick Blick stamp stuff!
And... My serger!
So badasss.
And then I made, like, four pillows and took pictures of them and Tre put them on eBay and our website!
We are gonna be sooooooo rich.
Hahahhaa.
And then I folded all my fabrics and found out I have A LOT more black fabric than I thought.
I am going to make sooo many purses.
Today had been productive and nice. (: |
|
|
| High Heels |
[Mar. 24th, 2009|09:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | tired | ] |
Red dreeEEEEEeessss
So today was sweet.
It was a late start so I woke up and took a shower and picked up Veronica and had Denny's!
Super tasty.
And I was a minute late to second but it was ain't no thang.
And we started watching Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?. Such a good movie.
For third was boooooorrrrrrrrring econ.
At lunch we tried to start our rally rehearsal but to no avail.
For fourth we took booooooorrrrrrrring notes.
For fifth it was just chillax time.
But Meagan was really mad for no reason. :/
For sixth, we sort of worked on DTASC...
Hahhaa.
Then I took some people home, as usual.
And I came home and read some of Impulse and then fell asleep.
I had a weird dream where Snell and I were hanging out and her dad came and talked to her at my window and him and Deb were on motorcars? Like, I don't know. Haha.
And then I ate some macaroni and cheese for dinner and afterwards went to Target with my dad and sister.
I got body wash and business card paper.
Then we went to Kohl's and I got a buttload of undergarments.
Hahhaha.
And I am suuuuuuuuper tired so perhaps I will turn in early tonight...
(; |
|
|
| Pretty sweet. |
[Mar. 23rd, 2009|10:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Two Tongues | ] |
So today I actually made it to second period!
Soooo craazy. Hahaha.
And Mrs. Ronga was chill as fuck. (:
Today was pretty standard.
In English we had to do a group poster in groups of four and lo! and behold! I had no one to be in a group with.
So I was by myself.
And Mrs. Dettelbach was like, are you sure? That doesn't seem fair to you...
And I was like, hey super fine dude.
And I was the fiiirst one done. :3
And then at lunch I found out Garrett had a seizure during 4th. :/
That is really scary.
And then I had business and it was the usual boring stuff.
And for drama Graz was there!
And we got our groups for DTASC.
I'm in a def power group with Lori, Joe, Casey, and me.
Hahaha.
But I feel bad for Emily and Veronica because they are in modern Shakespeare with some retards...
Veronica almost killed someone today.
After school I drove some people home and then came home and started reading Impulse by Ellen Hopkins.
And thennnn I went to Michael's with my family and got some craft stuufff.
I got three Mason jars, ribbon, an embroidery hoop, straight pins, and... I think that's it.
I was pretty excited.
When I got home I put my labels on the jars.
(They don't look the greatest because I took them with my cell phone but whatever.)
And then I laid around and read some of Impulse and then I fell asleep for a little and then I watched House and talked to Tyler.
Now I'm listening to some Two Tongues and I'm going to try and go to sleep at a decent time for once.
Late start tomorrow!
Good niiiiiiiiight. (: |
|
|
| Total bust. |
[Mar. 22nd, 2009|12:15 am] |
So today I woke up balls early (9:45am) so I could go to a sewing expo.
I got up and folded my laundry and then I took Veronica home.
I came home and took a shower and left.
I had no idea what gate to go in but eventually I asked someone.
I parked and found out that not only was the sewing expo today but there was also an Off-Roading expo so... It was bro city!
I walked the thing twice and it was mostly quilting stuff.
A lady saw I had a luggage rack thing and she said, hey! let's put something on there!
So we talked about a serger and at the end she told me it was... $1700!
So lame.
So I left.
I called Tyler for my walk out.
And then I drove home sort of dejected.
Around three Laurren and I went to have a photoshoot.
I like a lot of the pictures.
I think they came out really good. (:
And then we came back to my house and hung out for a little and then she went to hang out with Matt.
Shortly after Vance came over with his puppy!
We played with him for awhile and then he left.
I had Pizza Hut and then fell asleep for four hours.
I woke up to Tyler calling me and I guess he thought I was dead.
Hahaha. Whoops.
And then he was irritated and I got a little irritated so he just got off the phone.
Now I'm bored and lonely and don't feel good.
I guess I should try to get some sleep.
Good night. |
|
|
| He says we've just met |
[Mar. 20th, 2009|09:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Two Tongues - Self-Titled Album | ] |
But I've seen you around
Can we share a car
Back to my place with movies made about outer space
And so it seems they're off to share their wasted dreams
I am obsessed with the Two Tongues album as of right now.
I can't stop listening to "Interlude".
I don't even care if it's a boy singing any more. Hahaa.
Today, was okay.
I missed second... Again.
And today I had to do my monologue for the cameras and I was, like, second to last but...
I did it. Really well, too. (:
I'm glad. I was nervous and studied like hell, too.
I'm sorta proud of myself. :3
And then I drove some people home and went home feeling a little blue.
I was pissed off because my mom parked in my spot and I was like, are you kidding me?
That's just more work/worry later.
So I went inside and my mom and dad were watching some dumb movie and I was like, I wanted to watch Grey's Anatomy right now.
So they let me but... Someone deleted last weeks episode.
I watched two weeks ago and then last nights.
I was kind of... Pissed off.
Oh, and I'm glad Izzie is going to die. She is a crazy cunt.
I usually cry during Grey's Anatomy but my dad was right next to me so I had to hold it in and then I went to my room and dance punched my frustration out in a wooded glen.
And it bothers me that I posted a Twitter that I was crying and no one cared.
I know at least five, probably more, have device updates for me and not one texted or called me.
I mean, maybe I should be the one to reach out but wow.
Not even my supposed best friend cared. She does have some problems herself but I always ask her what's wrong and try to help.
I don't know. It just hurt more than it should have.
I should have gone to I Love You, Man tonight but... Ugh, I just hate movie theatres.
It's a waste of money and there are so many people I hate who go to the movies all the time.
But I can't complain because I was invited several times and I just declined.
I'm just antisocial.
I started to clean my room a little but I was too depressed.
So I cleaned out the little two foot by five foot space next to my bed and dozed in and out of sleep.
I had a weird dream where Graz was at my house and he had two dogs, but they had human like faces? And I backed into my neighbor's car because my mom was in my spot.
So weird.
And then I woke up and I found out my parents bought me a Sidewinder Bobbin Winder.
I was like, hey thanks.
And then I ate some swiss roll cakes and started my laundry.
And I noticed that they pulled my car in for me. I was like, hey thanks cunt.
I made a pizza and ate it while reading some sewing tutorials.
I'm getting a serger tomorrow, hopefully.
I'm going by myself so it should be pretty relaxing.
I hope I get to do one of the workshops I wanna do realll bad.
I just wish I had friends who cared about sewing. :/
So, I think I'm going to organize my fabric and clean my room a little while listening to Two Tongues on repeat.
Good bye! (: |
|
|
| Barefoot in the Park |
[Mar. 19th, 2009|11:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | aggravated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Tyler's sweet voice | ] |
So today was okaaaaaaay.
I mean, school suckssss so bad.
And everyone is so disrespectful and I hate it so much.
Everyone is so fucking immature and needs to get over themselves.
I can't wait for this to not work out.
You are both so fucking naive and you're both going to end up FUCKED.
You are such a cunt. You think everyone hates you for no reason.
There is a reason. You're being so stupid!
He has a girlfriend. Wait, they both have girlfriends!
And the second one is a dick to you.
How dumb are you?
Seriously. I just need to get that out.
Fuck you guys.
Fuck being so stupid.
I HATE HIGH SCHOOL SO FUCKING MUUUUCH
But today I saw Barefoot in the Park and it was really good.
And it made me realize I seriously need to be a better girlfriend or Tyler and me will get divorced and then he'll get really drunk and then we'll kiss.
Hahaha.
But anyways, such a good play.
You should rent the movie sometime. (: |
|
|
| And we'll dance like no one was watching, |
[Mar. 18th, 2009|10:48 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Crime as Forgiven by against me! | ] |
with one fist in the air...
I wish I knew where my hard drive was.
I neeed it.
That's my livelihood, man.
And I hate using headphones to listen to my music.
Blarghhh.
Well, Zebraskiin Designs has started production so there is no stopping me now!
I am suuuuper excited to be rich and famous. Hahaha.
So, my hair is actually getting kind of long.
But I wanna cut it so bad. I hate the feeling of it on my neck.
Hahaha.
I'm not gonna lie, I wanna be just like Tyler's friend Stephanie.
I think she is so funny and cool and pretty.
And I wanna be skinny and pale and have short hair like hers.
Oh, and sweet tattoos.
Ballllzzzz.
I just don't ever wanna go to school again!
:3 |
|
|
| Sweet 18! |
[Mar. 1st, 2009|10:15 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Brawl! | ] |
So today we went to Shogun's for Tyler's birthday.
It was Tyler, me, Laurren, Vance, and Chance.
We got a suuuper funny chef and he kept calling Laurren slow.
Hahaha.
And he totally duped me; he threw an egg and me and I was like, wahraaalggrrhhh!
But it was a plastic egg. ):
And he got Laurren, too; he had a ketchup bottle and squirted a string at her.
Hahahaha.
And we got them to sing happy birthday to Tylerrr.
And it was a lot of fun.
Afterwards, Vance drove Laurren's car to 7-11 and Tyler bought his first lottery tickets and some cigarettes. Hahaha.
And he won a free ticket!
So he got some more tickets and then him and Vance decided it was a lot of fun so the both bought ten dollars worth.
Tyler won another ticket and Vance won nothing...
After that we all went to my house and they played brawl.
And I wrote this. Haha. :3
Best birthday ever! |
|
|
| Ch-ch-changes |
[Feb. 8th, 2009|01:06 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | irritated | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Skinny, Mean Man by Say Anything | ] |
turn and face the strange, changess.
Changing is really hard.
Especially when you always act on the heat of the moment.
And don't calm down and figure things out first.
I hate myself more than anything.
I wish nothing more than to relapse into my old ways right now. |
|
|
| My Winter Break in Clovis, CA |
[Dec. 30th, 2008|06:26 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Clovis, CA | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | meow | ] |
I want to have a day-by-day log of this trip of mine so keep checking back for updates, mah boooo.
Day 1, December 27th
I stayed up all night so that I could catch the 6:30am bus from Claremont. I met up with Makkael who had no idea I was going to be on the same bus as her, haha. We got on, caught up a little and both fell asleep. When we got to Bakersfield we both went to pick up our tickets. We got on the bus to be greeted with this fat white guy listening to shitty whiny r&b. The conductor asked him to turn it off before we both killed him. We talked for a little bit and then read the rest of the way. We got to Fresno and Tyler met us at the train and I totally hugged him first. Tyler's mommy drove us back to Tyler's house and we hung around for awhile.
That night was Christmas! Hahahaha. Tyler got meeeee a Watchmen graphic novel, House of Leaves!!1!1, and The Producers! My copy was all messed up. His parents got me peanut brittle, a purple thermal, and a gray striped thermal. :3 Pretty legit. I got Tyler a shave kit, two folk cds, Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk, and a Phoenix Wright manga. I got both of his parents a pound of chocolate and Makkel's only got them one pound to share. :P Hahhahaha.
That night I fell asleep early, as usual. Hahahhaa.
Day 2, December 28th
Day 3, December 29th
Day 4, December 30th
We woke up around 1pm and laid arouuunnddd. Then we finally took showers and Tyler's friends Jeremy and Yifan came over and played Super Smash, lol. And then Bonin and Lopez came over and I continued to sit on the computer. I probably sat here for four hours... Probably more. And then afterward we went with Bonin and Lopez and got Taco Belll.
Day 5, December 31th
Day 6, January 1st
Happy New Year! We laid around most of the day. Then we both got ready and went to Riverpark. We had dinner at Dai Bai Dang's. Yummy yummy. Then we walked around Borders and Best Buy. Then we saw Milk. It was really good but I thought there was a little too much gay kissing. Hahaha.
Day 7, January 2nd
We woke up and got ready really fast because the Reynolds family friend John and his girlfriend Ester were supposed to be here any minute. But after we were both ready we learned they wouldn't be here for several hours. :/ So Tyler and I ate some sandwiches and waited around.
Day 8, January 3rd
Day 9, January 4th
I am laaazyyyyyyy |
|
|
| Merry Christmas! |
[Dec. 25th, 2008|05:17 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | content | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | MGMT | ] |
I got sooo many sweet gifts.
So I am going to post about alll of mah gifts. :3
(Click on picture for a bigger view)
For Christmas Eve I got these cuuute flats.
And then todayyyy I got...
Super cute boots!
And a bunch of embroidery suppliessss... but nothing to embroider on...
Hahahhaa.
And a badass jackettt
I got this string of pearls but next year I am going to ask for breast implants because I am impatient with my body.
A green sweatshirt because I have been wanting to make a riddler jacket.
I am the only person in the world who hasn't seen this yet.
HOT ROD. COOL BEAAAAAAAAANS
lololol --_____________--
And Wii Music..? More for my sister than me.
And in my stocking I got...
Legit Stewie pants, hahaha.
A scarfffff.
A buttload of socks. :3
And then I got money from my grandma, aunts, and uncles.
So, pretty sweet haul.
Christmas isn't the same when you're old, though.
You know?
It's not as exciting.
I mean, I got socks and clothes. I used to want the Barbie Motorhome and stuff.
Hahahahhaa.
But still legit. (;
Oh, and I got Guitar Hero World Tour, biiiiiiitches.
|
|
|
| Knowing me, knowing youuu |
[Dec. 22nd, 2008|05:22 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | ABBA - Gold | ] |
Today is good.
Winter break has been pretty relaxing so far.
I am just glad I got to see Max.
When he was gone, it felt like he was gone for years,
and when we were together it felt like he was gone for two days. (:
I'm glad nothing has changed between us!
I am also excited to see Tyler.
It's been too long.
And I can't wait to see all of my Clovis/Fresno friends.
I love traveling.
I am excited to read Ulysses or maybe the Shining on the way upppp.
I'm just organizing my iTunes and I wish organizing my room was this easy. :/
Hahahha.
Bye! :3 |
|
|
| Call it off. |
[Dec. 16th, 2008|07:13 pm] |
I love Tegan and Sara.
I just found out in the middle of February they are coming out with Macbeth brand shoes.
Super cute.
I just wish I had a million dollars and could buy all the clothes and Forever21.
Hahaha.
I am excited for winter breakkkk. (: |
|
|
| Pinkberry |
[Dec. 9th, 2008|08:35 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | bored | ] |
is delicious.
I hate IB projects. :/
And periods are the worssttt.
I just wish my dad would let me start birth control. ):
I want some tatttttooooooos.
(: |
|
|
| You're Hot Then You're Cold... |
[Nov. 28th, 2008|11:23 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
I wish I wasn't so apathetic about every little thing.
Nothing is interesting or funny or exciting.
Life is boring. So god damn boring.
There isn't anything to do, that I enjoy.
Nothing.
And everyone and everything irritates me.
Even if I like them/it. I just get mad.
Probably because I am so apathetic towards life.
I want to go to sleep... For a long time. |
|
|
| Thanksgiving. |
[Nov. 26th, 2008|11:05 pm] |
Sucks every year.
I am sure tomorrow won't be any different. :/
Hopefully I can get my Zune to work...
I wish I had my iPod... Greg...
Yeah, I don't know.
I said I would update more and I am.
So yeah.
Bye. |
|
|
| Break free; get up and dance |
[Sep. 18th, 2008|09:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | blank | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | HillsongUnited | ] |
Sometimes I think I miss church.
Then I realize I don't.
I miss people caring about me.
Or at least... Pretending they cared about me.
Like I have friends but these were adults who I could talk to you, who didn't fight, who thought I was going to change the world.
Now I feel... I don't know.
I can't go back now.
I don't know any body any more.
Oh, and I don't believe in God so much any more.
Hah.
But I gotta admit HillsongUnited is catchy as ever.
I wouldn't mind going to Newport.
Seeing Karen or Diandra.
WOW. I never realized how much I missed my old life.
I guess I could call it that.
I don't know.
I just... I don't know.
Bye. |
|
|
| Holy shit. |
[Aug. 29th, 2008|01:05 am] |
I thought it was still Thursday and I thought that all of my invitations for my birthday were wrong.
I nearly had a heart attack. |
|
|
| I have a girlfriend now. |
[Aug. 23rd, 2008|02:49 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | calm | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Shiksa by Say Anything | ] |
I remember it vividly love.
I've been walking erect since the moment we met. (;
Life has been sweet lately. I finally got to go to Tyler's house and see him and fat dog and Nayfen and Zack and Stephanie and Warped Tour.
Tyler and I went to Denny's and met most of Say Anything.
And now we've been at my house chilling and hanging with Vance and Max mostly.
Tonight Max left to New York for FOREVERRRRR. TT__________TT
And I have finally hung out with Joe and Laurren. Kekekeke.
And tonight Tyler taught me fucking EVERYTHING about Magic.
So yeah. I'll kick your ass or something.
Lol. My hair is starting to look like a bowl cut.
In the front.
Oh wellz.
Life has been pretty chill as of lately and I'd like to keep it that way. (: |
|
|
| This sucks. |
[Jul. 12th, 2008|03:02 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | sad | ] |
Life sucks.
Not being able to help you sucks.
Being here sucks.
Cleaning sucks.
The heat sucks.
GAD sucks.
Being depressed sucks.
Not having my computer sucks.
Having no motivation sucks.
Right now, I'm pretty sure EVERYTHING sucks. |
|
|
| Asleep |
[May. 19th, 2008|08:32 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | quixotic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Asleep by the Smiths | ] |
Whenever I finish a particularly good book I get in a very odd mood.
I just finished this book called, Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac by Gabrielle Zevin.
It was beautifully written and I felt like I could relate to it on so many levels.
There was the girl and she was lost and the only thing she could do was cut all of her hair off.
She tried out for the school play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and she played Hamlet and Ophelia.
I love the story of Hamlet and Ophelia, even though it's a bit peculiar.
I always feel snobby when I write using the least bit of my expanded vocabulary.
Her best friends were two lesbians.
The poem "Nobody" by Emily Dickinson which Rachel wrote on my wall not more than two weeks ago.
When I get in these moods I just want to listen to "Asleep" by the Smiths over and over and over again.
I want to fill notebooks with my nonsensical ramblings and my thoughts and the rare poem.
I want to just runaway and think and be alone.
Life is going to fast. It feels more surreal than a Dali painting.
Prom is in two weeks. I am not nearly done sewing my dress... :/
Laurren is leaving. Max, Jenn, Jasper, Krista, all of them... I don't know, want to know, what it will be like when they aren't in the drama room at break or lunch or during sixth period.
I feel so lost. I feel alone in a crowded room. I just want to read and read but it keeps going in one ear and out the other.
I want to connect with people easily.
I want to be understood.
I want to feel like I truly belong.
I need an anchor.
Like G-d. But not G-d because I'm beyond that fairytale.
It wasn't solid enough for an opaque female like me.
I feel lost at sea. |
|
|
| Do you ever feel like the world is against you? |
[Apr. 21st, 2008|09:13 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | House M.D. | ] |
That no matter how hard you try to change, for the better, it does nothing?
That you know you have an anger problem so you try to bottle it in and yet, it still seeps out and affects the innocent?
That you have no style whatsoever and you look like a moron every day?
That you don't have any goddammed hair?
That you are sore every where on your body because a little jumping wears out your lazy ass?
That the tears pressing on your eyes must never EVER get lose again?
That the one person you can turn to when you're stressed doesn't think you're pleasant to talk to when you're stressed?
That you can't connect with ANYONE on a deeper personal level and you feel lost in a crowd of people?
I do.
And I feel like utter and complete shit. |
|
|
| Clovis, California |
[Apr. 13th, 2008|08:00 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | hopeful | ] |
This has been a pretty ridiculous spring break so far.
On Wednesday I woke up at 5am and got to the bus stop around 6am. The bus was supposed to be there at 6:30am so at 7am, I was a little nervous.
I called Amtrak and they were like, IDK LOL. And I called again and they said the bus broke down in San Bernardino and I would have to take the 9:45am one.
I was pretty frozen so I went to Starbucks and read some Nietzsche.
The 9:45am bus came without and problems and I was on my way! :3
BTW there was a cute boy smiling at me the whole time on the train. ;)
Then I got to Fresno station and gay Tyler and Nathan were super late.
Then we went to Nathan's mom's softball practice but it was over.
Then I don't know when but we went to Tyler's and then we went to the Subhumans show.
The show really reminded me why I was a punk and why I am no longer into that sort of thing.
It was a lot of fun and the Subhumans are an amazing band.
They did an alphabetical set and I moshed to a few songs. It was a lot of fun.
And I got a sweet LIBERATE! Animal Rights t-shirt. :3
The next day we went to Nathan's and went hot tubbin'.
We were there til around... 3:30am or something.
It was mostly Magic, Magic, Magic. Hahahaha.
On Friday we went to the card shop again and you know, they played Magic.
I played a little with Zack and I won! Hahahaha.
Then we went to Friday Night Magic and Titan and Tyler and Nathan p4wn'd a little bit.
We went Nathan's and went hot tubbin' again and then decided to go rollerblading/skateboarding.
We went to a park by Nathan's house, duh, and there was some kids there smoking and we were like, lol k. So we tried to go to the other park but we just went in a giant circle. Hahaha.
We were at the park for a little bit and decided to go back to Nathan's and the kids there started crap with us. One of them was like, "Yeah, leave the park! This is our territory."
We thought it was a joke so we were sort of saying crap back and they started chasing us.
I really didn't think they would catch up to us but Tyler's slow as hell. Hahahahhaa.
Then the next night Tyler and I went with Danny to another show. It was Lower Class Brats and Nekromatnix.
It was a good show but not nearly as good as Subhumans.
After that we went to Zack's and everyone played starcraft, hahaa.
Then Tyler and I skated home and ate chex and spent time together. :3
And this morning I left.
Nothing eventful happened.
Home is the worst. :/
I already miss Clovis.
Tyler's friends are way cooler than my friends. Hahahhaa.
So that was my spring break. :D |
|
|
| I need a sketchbook |
[Mar. 31st, 2008|08:37 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | laser life ! ~ | ] |
Really badly. :/
Anyone want to get me one? Haha, yeah right.
Just waiting for Vance to pick me up.
I've been feeling like my regular ol' depressed self, lately.
Sigh. D:
Oh well. I'll be fine, soon... Hopefully.
I really hope Coldstone hires me because I really need a job!
I hate all of my clothes.
I look like a fgt.
:/
Oh, well. I'm going to go and finish getting ready.
:/ |
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zebraskiin's journal